That's not my bedroom. It's Anna Wintour's summer home in Long Island (she has two) and since norovirus came round to play I've been deliriously flicking through old copies of The World Of Interiors dreaming of the most salubrious place to convalesce. Much better than being confined to That's Not My Age Mansions with a sick bucket and a bottle of lemonade, don't you think?
And to overcome the bouts of vomiting and self-pity, I've been channelling Donald Sutherland's upbeat approach to life and death. The 75-year-old actor has been doing the rounds promoting his latest movie, a remake of the 1970s film The Mechanic, and even though he's now reduced to bit parts in crappy films, this man can still laugh at himself:
'I'm at the time in my life that when I pass a cemetery I don't just pass, I turn in. I turn in and look. I look at mausolems and crypts and stones and cenotaphs. And I realise that I am, in fact, window shopping.'
Going on to discuss how he wants to die quietly in his sleep, ' It's a good way to die, just not for the other four people in the car!'
The NHS says there's no specific treatment for winter vomiting disease, but I know different.
Donald Sutherland quote: The Times